ALL Dawn Doleman needed to do was fill her baby's bottle – yet this simple domestic task seemed almost impossible.
Trapped in a pit of depression, she stood in her kitchen overwhelmed by the voices in her head.
She was in the grip of a crippling mental illness. All emotions – except fear and misery – had been erased, leaving her feeling no love for her newborn son.
She had stopped washing herself and slept for just an hour-and-a-half each night.
The 40-year-old, of Porters Lane, Oakwood, said: "It was as if someone was shouting in my head all the time, telling me things were bad and horrible.
"I couldn't even count how many scoops of formula I was putting into Christian's bottle. I'd get to about two and lose track. I had to keep throwing it away and starting again.
"I was like a miserable zombie in a shell of a body that used to be mine.
"I wasn't planning my suicide but I couldn't have gone on and I was at the stage where I didn't want to be here."
It was an illness which had struck suddenly and unexpectedly after Dawn fell pregnant for the second time.
A happy-go-lucky person until then, she had thoroughly enjoyed raising her first son, Jacob.
She had dealt head-on with trauma in her life, including the death of her mum and the break-up of her previous marriage.
But as soon as she found out she was pregnant again she started to panic about how she would cope once the baby was born…
Blogger Labels: depression,misery,newborn,zombie,trauma,death,marriage,emotions
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